Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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