I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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