Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
