Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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