u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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