Got a toothbrush?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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