I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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