: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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