I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
there's paper in my vomit.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize