You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
