ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize