You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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