Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
