We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
