Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
