He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
