...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just high enough for therapy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
