Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
