erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
