Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
