it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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