Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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