1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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