Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
