What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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