You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So many bounce houses so little time
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
