Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
