the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
