i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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