Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't deserve a penis
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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