I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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