you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I can't turn off my feet"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
