better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
should my penis look like a turkey
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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