Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize