Screwed.edu
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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