woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All the doctor said was why
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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