i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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