I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
