just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
