we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
