you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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