and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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