..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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