I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
