I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
