Non-Jews are for practice
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
