Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Are we still banned from the library?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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