By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
