i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
