i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize