i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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