Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
