so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
