I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
