i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
