lets start a swedish sibling band together
do herpes really smell.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I have post one night stand depression
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