sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
