I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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