naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
