We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
