I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
