Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize