I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
