Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
