Quick, to the slutcave!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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